Trash it, Don't Stash it!

So basically there has been a LOT of fashion no-no's this season.
Here is a list that will  be continually updated what not to wear.... ahem (you're welcome, in advance):

• PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE STOP IT with the knock off Coach, Gucci, Louis Vuitton bags. Babygirl you're not fooling anyone with those "G's" on your "Coach" bag. Here's a tip, go to your nearest Coach outlet and buy one nice bag. Buy black,brown, or a neutral color.
• Throw away those white leggings. They are NEVER okay.
• Speaking of leggings, do not wear them under blue jean mini-skirts.
• Do not wear blue jean mini skirts.
• I should not be able to see the outline of your crotch (camel-toe) through your leggings.
• You are not a celebrity. You will never be one if you keep it up with those Barbie chains and Nicki Minaj inspired wigs.
• Gladiator sandals (shaking my head).
• Sandals without a pedicure (I shouldn't even have to bring this up to you "ladies".
• Those half jackets that just cover your boobs. What's the f**kin purpose of that? Seriously...come on...
• Heels/wedges with maxi dresses. You look like a tall ass midget. I know that's an oxymoron, but that's what you look like. Only REALLY short people can pull this off.
• Colored weave....no questions asked.
• Long nails with fireworks designs.
• If your over the age of 15, shirts with sooo much glitter on them. NO!
• Those shirts that say Baby Girl. You are not a baby anymore.
• Baby Phat.
• Coogi.
• Southpole.
• Red lipstick that does not flatter your skin tone. 
• White undergarments under white clothes. If your mother has not taught you this, then she failed as a parent. (Cough cough to my own mother).
• Body spray. You smell like rubbing alcohol.
• Lacefronts/Lace wigs. You are not fooling anyone. No, that doll hair does not look like it's growing out of your scalp. No, you were not born with a hairline like a Cabbage Patch Kid. Yes, your wig does look like a mink hat.
• Drawn on eyebrows. *sigh*
• I know it's too late to do anything about it now, but that tattoo across your chest (you know, the one right above your breasts but right below your collarbone. Yeah, that one) means that you will never ever be made love to for the rest of your life. You will only be skeeted on from now on. Please wear turtle necks from here on out, boo.
• Turtle necks. Hopefully no one still wears these in the new millenium, but if you do, I will assume you're desperately trying to reconcile the poor choice you made in tattoo placement.
• Gym shoes/Tennis shoes. Boo, if you are a grown woman and are not at the gym, nor playing tennis, why are you wearing sneakers? Who are you sneaking up on? Certainly not fashion.
• Boot cut jeans. Nobody does that anymore. This is 2011. The rest of us moved on several years ago.
• A wrap. I know this has been a staple in the Black community for many many years, but honestly, it was only fly in the 90s. Today, if every hair on your head is leaning/swirling/curving towards the same direction, and the wind is not blowing, you look so soulful. Free tip: loose bun, loose ponytail, or pincurl at night.
• Purses. Real women carry bags. If you're rocking a 5"x5" purse with a strap long enough to sit on your shoulder and hang across your chest and rest on your opposite hip, you need a prayer partner and a subscription to Vogue. Get your life together.
• If you're wearing see through clothes at the club (such as mesh or lace), exposing your undergarments and/or body parts, and everything is super short and yeast infection tight, I pretty much hate you and everything you stand for. You are not getting attention because you are the baddest bitch in the club, you are getting attention because you are the craziest bitch there, and all the dudes are in your face because they've all pictured you with their balls on your chin. You lose at life.
• For the fellas: if you are dressed as if there is rap video being filmed (whether you are at the club, the mall, the grocery store, or wherever your little life has taken you for the day), meaning your hat, t-shirt (smh), and jeans all look like they would fit a person 3 times your size, I am not checking for you. Please refrain from checking for me as well.